9/9/25 daily musing

Hospitality

Many cultures have rules on hospitality. the South treats you very well when you're a visitor but not so much if you try to move down there as a "Yankee." Greeks talk about "Philotemo." There isn't really a translation. I call it honor and the respect you treat people with. HIspanics also enjoy showing off their culture. I remember going to Dominican parties in college where they would say, "Oh you're White, you've never had platanos like this, try it!" My Dominican friend would invite me to these parties so that I could see how it felt to be a minority so I'd understand how she felt in every day life around WHite people. It backfired on her because I thrived because people opening their homes to me and feeding me was completely my comfort zone since Greeks love showing off their culture too. Dominicans are the only women I've ever seen that when dancing with them, they put your hand on their hip so you can get the rhythm then defer to you to keep with the dance they just taught you whether it be Salsa, Merengue or Bachata. Greeks also teach Greek dancing to non-Greeks but Greek dancing is more communal rather than coupled.

to be honest, it's American households that I have the culture shock. All my foreign friends whether it be Russian, Hispanic, Greek or what not have loved when I came over because I finish all the food they cook. I recently went to a house where the woman said, "Alright eat as much as you like but just remember, we like leftovers. There's nothing wrong with leftovers." That's a mixed message and not one I've ever really heard. In most cultures, the onus is on the host to make enough food for everyone and if you run out that isn't the guest's fault but a shame on you. I've always been fascinated with this since my foreign friends were always very good cooks. Let me get this straight, you cook a very good meal and I'm going to be complimented and praised because I ate your good food? Yea, this arrangement works for me! In hindsight, I think these "friends" were hitting on me especially since they would say, "I only cook for guys I'm dating." I would respond, "That's not true, you cook for me all the time." Perhaps I should've caught the hint.

Given the way most cultures are, it's really pathetic that people have come up with the notion of "Cultural Appropriation." Every culture likes to be mimicked. I take a sense of pride that when the Ottoman Empire ruled Greece for 400 years, they took our culture rather than forced it on us. We didn't really have Dhimmi status the way others did. They won't admit it now but almost all Mediterranean food was influenced by the Greeks they just call it something else. When a Turk gives me "Dolma" I don't get pissed because they stole "Dolmothes." If you can prepare it well, I really don't care what your background is.